Unconditional love

Another layer of understanding this process for me and him...he started crying as we were getting ready to go down to breakfast, crying uncontrollably. I had to bring him back up to the room. He rolled around on the floor, at times wanting to touch my hand or for me to hold him and then pushing me away, sometimes both at the same time.
But for heave's sake, I'm his 4th mommy! He doesn't know that he is stuck with me forever. That I will never leave him. We found out he had actually been in two foster homes.
I had a bit of my own grieving too. I can't fix this or take it away. I have to walk through it with him. Another picture of God. How we reject Him, turn away from Him, then cling to Him. Yet He is always there, always loves us no matter what. He understands! He had to abandon His own son, so that He could adopt me! Was it a huge sacrifice, was it hard, was it messy? ABSOLUTELY! But was He still in control, was He still right there? OF COURSE!
Please continue to pray for us!
Rod went to a museum with the group and we stayed here. It has been better with 2 bottles and lots of snacks, TV on.
This afternon during his nap I may go to the orphanage. Caleb only spent about 2 weeks there. But I still feel drawn to go, to better understand the plight of the orphan. And even if we come back here, I don't know if I will have another chance. It might do me in, but feel like I want to/need to do it.
Got to talk to our kids. Starting to miss them more. One more week til we go home.