Saturday, April 17, 2010

Decisions

Our home study being approved kept being held up. But one day I "just happened" to be looking at the waiting children through our organization and found a couple of new babies so I e-mailed our social worker about them. They got matched quickly but she said there are a couple more, would you like to see them, we said sure. They are from South Korea. Hmmm, we got really attached to one of them and put our names in for the matching, he had been in the last group and wasn't matched so we thought we had a good chance. It seemed to take forever for the day of the matching to get here, it came and went. The next morning I got the call that we did not get him. We were very, very sad and disappointed, almost feeling as though we had lost someone. But I certainly don't want to compare myself to someone who has had a miscarriage, infertility, or lost a child through death. But it was very hard for us.
So now we have spent the last week trying to figure out what God wants us to do. Is He leading us to Korea now? Is He leading us to a baby? What about China? What about our "original plans"? God continues to show me that He is in control and in charge of everything, including this "operation" and these plans. He has amazed us the last couple of days with some unexpected funds and we will get a nice tax return. So we do know for sure He still wants us to adopt!
We are getting ready to go out of town for 2 weeks, leaving in the morning. We have not made a final decision, but kind of leaning towards Korea, because we want a baby. So we may take a couple of days with the long hours we have in the car to pray and think some more, then call or e-mail our social worker. We have to decide now because our stuff is ready to go to immigration and we have to pick a country. We appreciate your prayers!