Its been a long Winter...but Spring is HERE!

Its been a long winter in my heart and mind. With this journey of waiting in our adoption process, among many other things...My "long winter" started back in the end of October. We had been matched Sep. 20th and were anxiously awaiting our LOA (letter of approval) that would make it really official by China saying we could have Caleb. Our silent auction was coming up the first weekend of Nov. and I prayed and prayed for it to come by then. Surely God would answer yes to that prayer! But He did not. We were SO blessed by the generousity of our friends and family at our auction, surely we would get our LOA soon. The next "big" thing I had coming up was speaking at our church's women's lunch the week before Thanksgiving. I was speaking on our adoption journey, the waiting process, God's faithfulness. SURELY God would answer yes to receiving our LOA before then, so that I could stand up there and give Him all the glory. That is the way its supposed to work right?! It was just a couple of days before I was to speak, I was feeling really down. Why hadn't God answered? Why hadn't He come through the way He was "supposed" to? Also my mother-in-law had become very sick again and was in the hospital, she would not be there to hear me speak. I was disappointed.
As I prayed and cried out to God I realized He wanted me to speak about His faithfulness, even though He had not answered in the way I wanted Him to. He wanted me to give Him all the glory, even though it was hard and I didn't really feel like it. Our LOA was dated the Monday after I had spoken, but we didn't receive it until after Thanksgiving. It was certainly a test of my faith.
We quickly got our next set of paperwork done, for it only to sit for awhile, then it was the wrong paperwork, then the wrong amount of money, then had to wait a month longer for a separate approval. Dec. and Jan. felt REALLY long.
A few days before Christmas our world really changed. My mother-in-law went back into the hospital. Christmas Eve she went into ICU, never to really wake up again. She went home to be with Jesus on Jan. 4th. We couldn't believe she would not be here to see Caleb, whom she had been waiting to meet. Our lives and the lives of her grandchildren are not the same without her. Its still very hard.
Hopes of Feb. travel were dashed. Prayed for a miracle for March, but were still waiting on paperwork.
Finally on March 14th we got the call that our Article 5 had been issued on the 11th. Now to wait for travel approval. It could be another long couple of months. Kind of at the last minute my husband and I decided to go out of town one last time by ourselves as we had gift certificates that would expire the beginning of Dec. And we have no idea when we will be able to leave Caleb. So of course now we are so glad we went and had that opportunity.
Id didn't know how to pray. Of course I wanted to travel as soon as possible and I had been praying and had others pray that we would have Caleb by his birthday. But I wasn't sure how to pray for which son's birthday to miss, because our other son's birthday is at the end of April. I also very much wanted to travel with another family I had been in contact with, and they were still waiting on paperwork. I thanked God that He was the one to decide and not me. I prayed for strength to accept His will whatever it was.
Then the unbelievable happened as you can read in the previous post. My head is still spinning at the miracle! It is something only God could have done!
Each day I have had so much to do and I'm tired, which isn't a good way to start out this trip. I'm hoping to take things slower on Monday and Tuesday, we'll see.
I still can't believe its finally and actually happening!
In this journey of joy and sadness and waiting God has been there, even though at times I felt forgotten and He has been faithful in everything, each step of the way...
"Faithful" Chris Tomlin
Faithful, forever you are faithful, father to the fatherless.
You uphold the one who feels forsaken, you are faithful God.
Faithful, forever you are faithful, lover of the wounded heart
You defend the poor and the forgotten, you are faithful God.
And I will sing to the maker of heaven and earth
God, you reign forever and your love will endure
Faithful and true is the name of the Lord, you are faithful God.
Faithful, forever you are faithful,shelter for the fragile soul.
You lift us up, you hold us together, you are faithful God.
You are there, in every season of my soul
You are there, you're the anchor that will hold
You are there, in the valley of the shadows
You are faithful God.